


All Shades of Blue

by NeverAndAlways



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Force-Sensitive Chirrut Îmwe, Gen, Kid Fic, M/M, Married Chirrut Îmwe/Baze Malbus, Mpreg, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-09-20 01:16:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9468917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverAndAlways/pseuds/NeverAndAlways
Summary: Stories of Baze and Chirrut and their daughter.





	1. Beginning

They were newly married when they arrived at the Temple. Chirrut was set to be stationed there and well, Baze went wherever Chirrut did. They were awfully young then. Baze, good with a blaster but still honing his skills; Chirrut, scrappy and wiry and full of enthusiasm. But being so close to the kyber crystals has a quieting effect, even if you aren't Force-sensitive. They settled into their assignment quickly and found a routine and before long, the Temple started to feel like home.

And then, barely six months later, everything changed.

\--

"Baze?"

Chirrut brushes aside a dwarf shefflera with his cane. It springs back and bats his ankles as he passes. Then he _tap-tap-tap_ s his way carefully through a patch of darlingtonia, listening hard for an answer.

"Baze! Haykir told me I'd find you here, where are you?" 

Finally, he hears a familiar voice. "I'm here."

"Where?"

"90 meters, three o'clock. Mind the dracaena."

Chirrut counts the steps to where Baze said he would be, then reaches out. A hand connects with his. Then a second comes to rest on his waist. Acknowledgement more than anything. He smiles.

"Hello."

"H'lo."

Chirrut sniffs. "You smell like dirt and grass."

"That happens when you work in the garden." his husband's voice is gently teasing.

"I wouldn't know." Chirrut teases back. "I only meditate here, I don't abuse the plants."

"I'm not _abusing_ them, I'm pruning them." Baze moves away and picks up his shears. His husband finds his way to a tree and leans on it. The shears resume their quiet snipping as Chirrut collects his thoughts.

"...Baze?"

_Snip-snip_

"Hm?"

_Snip-snip_

"Are we alone?"

Baze looks around. "Seems that way."

_Snip-snip_

"Good." Chirrut stands up from his tree and moves closer to Baze. "We need to talk."

"Uh-oh. What did I do?"

"Just listen. This is important."

Baze puts down his shears. The look on Chirrut's face is one he doesn't see very often. "I'm listening."

"I went to the infirmary today, like you said."

"...And?"

A smile breaks across Chirrut's face. "All tests came back positive."

It takes a moment for the words to sink in. Then Baze's eyes light up. "Positive...you're pregnant?"

"Yes."

Baze lets out a single bark of delighted laughter. He's so excited he forgets to even warn Chirrut before descending upon him with a bear-hug. In his surprise, Chirrut loses his footing, and they topple to the ground. When they sit up, both men are grinning like fools. Baze shuffles backward off of Chirrut.

"So what did they say?"

Chirrut sits up on his elbows. One hand moves to his slight bump, just big enough to push his belt outward a little; really the only sign that there's anything happening. No morning sickness, nothing. "Well, according to the medical droid, I'm about fourteen weeks. The baby is healthy, and so am I...they said my 'gestation is progressing at a normal rate'." he does air-quotes with his free hand, and chuckles. He feels a little drunk. "And..."

"And?"

"We're having a daughter."

 

•°•°•°•


	2. Chapter 2

In no time at all, it seems, 14 weeks turn into 40. It's a relatively easy, peaceful pregnancy. Chirrut continues his duties throughout, even when his belly gets big enough to be a hindrance. Tai chi and meditation in the gardens, taking guard shifts on the kyber crystals, tutoring new recruits; he's tired most of the time, but that never stops him. In fact, he's more content than Baze has ever seen him. Which makes Baze happy, too.

Chirrut goes into labor on an otherwise thoroughly average day. It's the first time he's been outwardly nervous about the pregnancy; he can't sit still. Even as his labor stretches on into ten hours, fifteen, almost twenty, he's in near-constant motion. Pacing, rocking, swaying; anything to keep the pain from catching up to him. He spends four straight hours sitting with the kyber crystals, late in the evening, and it's the only time he's really still. Only when someone else arrives for guard duty can Baze persuade him to go back to their quarters.

And that's where their daughter is born, in the pre-dawn darkness, with the help of a medical droid from the temple infirmary.

\--

"One more. One more and we'll have her."

Chirrut is squatting by the side of the bed, bracketed by Baze's knees and holding himself up on them. Baze's hands are on his husband's shoulders, grounding them both. The medic droid is crouched--as much as a droid can crouch--in front of them. Baze leans forward and presses a kiss to Chirrut's hair.

"Come on, Chirrut. You heard them, you're so close. You can do it."

Chirrut makes a noise that's somewhere between annoyed and just plain desperate. When the next wave washes over him, he bears down hard, clutching Baze's knees in a white-knuckle grip.

And then she's out, in a sudden rush of fluid and movement. The droid deftly catches her and lifts her up. Chirrut gathers her into his arms. As the droid clears her nose and mouth and she starts to cry, he commits the sound to memory. He traces her tiny face with one hand, taking in every detail and committing that to memory, too.

He hears Baze sniffle behind him, and he laughs weakly. _And you call_ me _a sentimentalist?_ he thinks. But he's probably crying too. 

'The infant is healthy,' chimes the droid, '8.25 pounds; 21.3 inches. The time is 0413 hours.'

"She's gorgeous," whispers Baze.

"Asha." Chirrut whispers back. "Her name is Asha."

 

•°•°•°•


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dang, it was hard to find the right tone for this chapter...

Chirrut knows his daughter by touch. He knows every detail of her face: how the angle of her eyes--which Baze says are milky blue-- mirrors his own, and the sharp slant of her nose, just like Baze's. He knows the shape of her hands and feet, and how it feels when he picks her up and she melts into him.

He knows her by sound. He's committed her cry to memory, and other sounds too: when she's uncomfortable or cranky or when she just needs attention. The way she sighs and gurgles when she's happy, and that little sound of contentment that she only makes when Baze is holding her.

And he knows her by the Force. The Force interacts differently with every being: it's a dull, uniform glow in most people, for example, and makes little eddies and currents around Baze. But with Asha--well, the only way he can describe it is _sparkling_. Really, it's just because he spent his pregnancy so close to the kyber crystals. But he could pick her out in a crowd just by the feeling of those Force echoes. He wonders if she'll grow up to know the Force like he does.

\--

They start to suspect it when she's a month old. The dusty baby-blue color of her eyes doesn't clear, or change like it should.

At two months, they realize she doesn't seem to look at them. Or anything else for that matter. The only thing that seems to get her attention is staring out the temple windows. She has difficulty finding a toy that's right in front of her.

Beyond this, she's a happy, healthy baby; she smiles, she laughs, she's into everything she can get her little hands on. But Chirrut still suspects.

She's exactly three months old when Chirrut finally takes her to the infirmary. He has to find out once and for all.

\--

"Chirrut?"

Baze gets to his feet. He heard the front door open and close, but his husband hasn't appeared. He follows the sound of Chirrut's cane to their bedroom.

There he finds his husband standing by the bed, slowly unwrapping Asha from her sling against his chest. There's something hard about his expression.

"Chirrut?" Baze says again, softly. Chirrut turns briefly toward the sound.

"Hello." he lowers Asha onto the bed and unwraps the rest of the sling, then goes to the cupboard to put it away. Baze sits down on the bed. Asha startles and throws her little arms out; he picks her up. When Chirrut comes back, he scoots over.

"I've got her." he says absently. Then, "Chirrut, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." Chirrut sits down beside him and rests his chin on the end of his cane.

"Then why the long face?"

Chirrut closes his eyes and doesn't answer.

"What did they say?" Baze gently prompts him. "Is she alright?"

"Yes, she's healthy." Chirrut's eyes drift open. "...but she's blind."

Baze looks down at his daughter. She's found his fingers and has one clutched in each little hand.

"Oh." he wiggles his fingers. She gurgles, pulls his hand to her mouth, and starts to chew on it. "You were right, then."

"I didn't want to be right."

He looks at his husband askance. "You sound like she has a disease. She isn't going to die, Chirrut. She hasn't even changed."

"I know, but--I didn't want her to be different."

"Different than what? _You_ grew up blind."

"Yes, and I don't want her to go through that."

This makes Baze hesitate. That's not something he's ever heard; Chirrut has always been quiet about the years before they met.

"Go through what?" he asks in an undertone. Chirrut silently picks at a rough spot on his cane.

"The medic droids said she has 20% normal vison. But it will degrade as she gets older."

"...Alright." Baze doesn't argue. If Chirrut doesn't want to talk, he doesn't want to talk. Baze carefully pries his fingers away from Asha and tucks her up against his side. Then he gets up, stands in front of Chirrut, and lays a kiss on his forehead. "Hey. It's going to be okay. We'll make sure of it." a chime goes off behind him. "I have guard duty in a few minutes. Can you take her, or do you need me to?"

"I want to be alone."

"Okay." Baze stands back. "Okay." he gets the sling from the cupboard, wraps Asha up in it, and slips his (ceremonial) dagger into his belt. Then he snags one more kiss and slips away.

Chirrut doesn't move for a long time after that.

 

•°•°•°•


	4. Chapter 4

Little Asha turns out to be quite a handful; there's not much that can slow her down. She keeps her parents on their toes.

When she starts walking, for example: her first steps take her right into the edge of a table. Then a chair. Then another table. She doesn't try to walk again for almost three weeks. When she does, it's only with Chirrut or Baze at her side. She refuses to move if they aren't there.

Then, little by little, progress comes. She learns to hold her hands out in front, so her face isn't the first thing to hit incoming objects. She feels her way along walls and pushes furniture along the floor. Baze relays all this to Chirrut, who listens with pride, but also a little sadness. More than a little. He wishes she didn't have to go through this at all.

-

Asha's first birthday comes with a milestone they'd rather not have: her eyes have deteriorated almost completely, leaving her with little to no functioning vision.

But it also comes with a surprise.

"Baze."

Baze turns at the sound of his name. His husband is at the door to the main room; he looks shaken.

"Chirrut? Is something wrong?"

"I don't know." he sounds shaken, too. "I was going to wake up Asha, and...something is different. The Force feels--I don't know." Chirrut heads back toward the baby's room without waiting for Baze to follow.

When Baze catches up to him, Chirrut is hovering at the bedroom door, as though afraid to go any further. Baze looks into the room. It looks...well, normal. Closet over there, table over there, crib on the other side. Morning light coming through the window.

"What is she doing?" Chirrut asks quietly.

"Nothing, as far as I can tell." Baze takes a few steps into the room. He's learned to trust his husband's intuition on these things. Asha seems to be awake; he can hear her cooing to herself. A movement catches his eye: the mobile over her crib.

It's a simple thing, just some colorful crystals and a prism. They got it before she was born, and kept it even after learning she was blind. It turns slowly as he watches. After a moment it stops...and starts to turn in the other direction.

Maybe there's a draft.

He's about to say as much to Chirrut when the center crystal starts to move. It swings, wobbles--and then it floats. Another crystal joins it, and another. Baze looks down at his daughter. She claps her little hands and flashes a gummy smile, as if she knows exactly what she's doing and is quite pleased with it.

"Baze? Is she alright?" Chirrut's voice comes from behind him. Baze finds himself smiling, just a little.

"She's fine."

 

•••°°°•••


	5. Chapter 5

Years pass. Asha thrives. By her sixth birthday, she's climbed every tree in the temple gardens and has a broken arm to show for the tallest one. Baze teaches her about the plants, too, when she's not busy running past them; she takes to it like a fish to water. Chirrut calls them his gardeners.

There's one thing about her, though, that has him a little disappointed: her inclination toward the Force is fading as she grows. The incident when she was a toddler is one of only a handful, and they're getting less and less common. The Force still sparkles around her, she just doesn't seem aware of its presence. Baze maintains that it will come back to her when she's ready. For now, he says, let her enjoy being a kid.

And enjoy it she does. She might be the only child in the temple, but there are plenty of kids in the surrounding city. Her best friend is a little Xexto boy named Tanarth; they go to the market as often as her fathers' duties (and her classes) allow, and she plays while they get a chance to relax.

But life in the temple isn't always nice, or even safe. Jedha has its fair share of conflict, even without the Empire tightening its grip. Imperial soldiers are becoming a more common sight in the marketplace. There are whispers of some new weapon in construction--a weapon powered by kyber crystals. Chirrut wears a crystal fragment as a pendant; he's started hiding it when he leaves the temple. First and foremost, he's a Guardian of the Whills. He'd die before he let the Empire get their hands on the crystals.

-

"How much for the _wrissa_ shoots?"

It's a hot day on Jedha. Hotter than normal. There's a sleepiness to the usual hustle and bustle of the markeplace. Baze is at a produce stand, squinting in the sun, while Chirrut keeps tabs on the crowd. Asha is nearby too, playing with Tanarth outside his mother's clothier stall.

A whiphid elbows past Chirrut, muttering a curse. He steps out of the way and returns his attention to the crowd. Even the Force feels a little sluggish today. Chirrut fans himself idly (not that it does much good) as he listens to Baze finishing his transaction. There doesn't seem to be--wait. What was that?

He focuses his attention...there's a feeling trickling into the crowd, sending waves through the Force. Agitation. What's going on?

"...If there's anything else we need to get first." Baze's voice bleeds into his mind. He holds up his hand and shushes him.

"What is it?"

"Shh. I'm listening."

Chirrut shuts his eyes. The feeling is like ripples in a puddle, but where's the rock that caused them? Ah, there it is: two Imperial stormtroopers wading through the crowd. They have almost no Force echoes. What do they want?

"Stormtroopers." he says in an undertone. "Do you see them?"

There's a pause as Baze scans the crowd. "Yes. Eleven o'clock."

"What are they doing?"

"Seems like they're looking for something. Or someone."

Chirrut tightens his grip on his cane. Time to go. "I'll get Asha. You keep an eye on them."

He _tap-tap_ s his way to where Asha and Tanarth are playing. "Asha? Time to go home."

She whines as only a kid can. "But we just got here...!"

"I know. But it's hot out here, we need to go inside and stay cool."

"But-"

"Mind me, please." Chirrut's voice takes on that slightly dangerous tone that parents have. The one that says there's no point in arguing. "You can play with Tanarth after class tomorrow."

Asha grudgingly concedes. She says her goodbyes and takes Chirrut's hand, and they make their way back.

"Baze. Let's go."

The stormtroopers are getting closer; the crowd thins out around them. Baze hoists Asha into his arms. Just walk. Don't let them know you're aware of them. The temple is only a block away; they can get there if--

"You! Halt!"

Damn. Chirrut keeps walking. Don't let them know, don't let them know--

"You there! Monk! Stay where you are!"

He stops, but doesn't turn toward them. He can feel Baze standing behind him, practically radiating tension.

"Can I help you?"

"That crystal. Where did you get it?"

The pendant. It must have slipped out of his tunic! He lifts a hand to it. "What, this? It was a gift from my sister. If you like it, I can ask her where she found it."

"Right. And how did your 'sister' get her hands on a kyber crystal?"

"Kyber crystal? What's that?"

"Don't play dumb with me, monk. And look at me when I'm speaking to you...!"

Chirrut laughs lightly. "I would, sir, but I'm blind." he turns toward their voices and gestures to his eyes. There's a small part of him that really enjoys how uncomfortable that makes people. That, at least, gives them pause. He hears the warble of a hand scanner.

"Commander," says the second stormtrooper, "I'n reading kyber particles on all of them. Not just him, but the other man. And the child, too. They're covered with it."

The first stormtrooper steps closer. "You've been in contact with larger crystals. Where are they?" Chirrut doesn't answer. There's a dry _click_ and a faint whine: a blaster pistol being drawn. "You will take us to them. Now."

Chirrut nods. "Well, since you put it that way..." he lifts his cane just slightly. Then he swings. He knocks the blaster out of the stormtrooper's hands and sends them staggering back; a blow to the head knocks them down. Before the send one can react, he turns on them--a blow to the face, another on the back, and one more upside the head.

"Are there any more?" he asks Baze when they're both down.

"Not that I can see."

"Good. Let's go."

They run the whole way back to the temple. Only when they're inside, with the tall stone doors shut behind them, do they even stop for breath. Chirrut leans on the wall, breathing heavily. He feels Asha bury her face in his side; he wraps his arm around her. That was way too close.

 

•••°°°•••


	6. Chapter 6

Asha is twelve; Jedha is not such a safe place to live anymore. Imperial soldiers are always around, always patrolling, performing 'random checks' and carrying out raids. When Asha was nine, she went to the marketplace one morning to find Tanarth's mother's stall ransacked and empty. Her friend was nowhere to be found. And there's been no sign of him since.

It's difficult for her, even with her fathers' reassurances. Until now, her life in the temple has been a peaceful one. She doesn't quite know how to deal with this sudden upheaval. So Chirrut, being Chirrut, starts teaching her to fight. Basic katas first, then eventually with a Bo staff. She becomes quite good at it. After a while, she's almost eager for the raids.

If her parents had their way, she would never have to be part of one.

 

* * *

 

 

"Asha.  _Asha_."

She startles awake. The sounds all hit her at once: blaster fire, alarms, shouting, footfalls. The bone-deep  _thud_ of an explosion. She sits bolt upright.

"Bà?"

His hand finds her shoulder. "Here. Your papa's outside."

"What's-?"

"Shh. It's time to go."

She's being pulled upright, out of bed. Her staff is pushed into her hands; she fumbles for her shoes. Another explosion shakes the floor.

"Bà, what's going on?"

His voice is across the room now. "It's a raid. Caught us off-guard." there's the sound of something being shoved into a backpack. "We can't all fight. I'm getting you and your papa someplace safe." his voice comes back across the room. His hand finds her shoulder again. "Remember what we've been working on."

Asha doesn't have time to reply before she's bundled out of the apartment. It's chaos. People running, shouting, more explosions. She stays close to her father as he sprints through the building. Down the stairs, through a corridor, into a side hallway and down again. Through a doorway, and they're outside. Night air hits their faces. It's a little quieter out here, at least; you can hear yourself think.

"Chirrut! Asha!"

"Baze."

Baze appears next to them. He and Chirrut exchange a few hurried words that Asha doesn't quite catch. Then Baze turns to her.

"Asha. I won't ask you to fight with us--"

"I want to."

"-- _I won't ask you to fight with us_. This is very different than your practicing with Bà. But if you come with us, we'll get you to safety. I promise."

"Wait, what about you?"

"Baze, let's go."

Then they're off again, around to the front of the temple. Asha can hear the stormtroopers before they're even in range. One of them yells; a cluster of footsteps head toward them. Chirrut takes down one or two, and Baze takes three more before they can even get close. Then one of them goes for Asha. Just as the trooper gets close enough to reach for her, she spins around. Staff to the chest, grab their arm, twist around and down, then knock them out. Then she stands for a moment, panting, a little shocked by what she just did.

"Well done," Baze calls to her.

Chirrut's already up and running again. "Come  _on_ _!_ _"_

Chirrut is the only one who seems to know where they're going. He twists and turns and darts through the narrow streets so fast that Baze and Asha have a hard time keeping up. The sounds of the battle get fainter and fainter. Eventually he stops, at the back of an old tumbledown house. There's a root cellar at its base. He taps the door once or twice with his staff, then hooks it open.

"In here. You'll be safe."

Asha hesitates. "But--"

" _In._ I don't want you hurt." there's a note of authority in his voice that she rarely hears. She starts to lower herself into the cellar. About halfway down, she hears him say "Baze. You too."

"What?"

"Stay with her. I'll come back for you."

"Ah-ah-" Chirrut's footsteps scuff in the dirt as Baze turns him around. "If you're going, so am I."

"Baze, don't. I'll be fine."

Baze drops his voice. "They are  _executing_ our people back there. You wouldn't stand a chance."

A pause. "Just stay with Asha. Keep her safe; don't go anywhere."

"Don't try to be a hero."

"I need to do this."

"Chirrut--"

"Baze. Please."

Another pause. "Fine." Baze's voice is gruff. "Do what you want. If anything happens, don't blame me."

Baze climbs down into the cellar with Asha; moments later, they hear Chirrut's footsteps fade away down the street.

The root cellar is cool and damp and smells pleasantly earthy. It's quiet here. Not a good quiet, though. More like the quiet you get right before a thunderstorm, or an earthquake. Blaster fire is still audible in the distance; their breath is loud in the small space. Baze crouches, tense and irritable. Asha can almost feel it radiating off of him. When it's clear that Chirrut really has gone back to the temple, Baze sits down heavily. He lays one large hand on Asha's back in a reassuring gesture that doesn't do much.

They wait. And they wait. The blaster fire continues. The temperature drops, turning the dampness of the root cellar into a creeping chill. Baze hardly moves. After a while, Asha finds herself dozing off; she leans her head on his shoulder.

Suddenly an explosion, bigger than any of the previous ones, startles her awake. Baze sits sharply upright and cocks his gun.

"Papa?"

"Damn." more of a breath than a word.

"Papa, what's going on?"

"That was from the temple." his voice is strained. "I think your Bà's in trouble." he turns to Asha. "I need you to stay here. Take this--" he thrusts a heavy bag into her hands "--and whatever happens, _do not_  leave this cellar, do you understand?"

"But--"

"Do you understand?"

"...Yes."

"Good girl." Baze plants a kiss on her forehead. Before he can move away, she pulls him into a hug, which he returns with a sigh. "I'll be back. I promise." he doesn't sound at all sure. He pulls away, and climbs up and out of the cellar. His footsteps recede into the distance. And Asha is alone.

 

* * *

 

After a while, the shouting and blaster fire fade into background noise, until Asha barely notices it. Her legs cramp up from sitting so long; the bag sits heavy in her lap. It's filled with hard, angular somethings that jab her no matter which way she angles it. And all the while, she worries. Her parents are both more than competent fighters. She knows that. They can take care of themselves. But the little anxious voice in her head keeps whispering,  _what if they can't? "_ They're executing our people back there," Baze said. What if they get captured? What if they've already been captured? Is she an orphan now? What will happen to her?

Stop it, Asha. You don't know that. They're probably fine.

...But what if they aren't?

The night crawls by. At first, Asha jumps at every little noise; she holds onto her staff so tightly, her hand starts to hurt. But little by little, fatigue kicks in. She loosens her grip. Her eyes start to droop...

Then, suddenly, she jerks awake. There are footsteps coming; about a block away.  _Stormtroopers_. Asha gets to her feet, half-crouching in the cramped cellar. She feels for the door and pulls it shut, then sinks back into a crouch. Her heart is pounding.

The footsteps come closer. Asha closes both hands around the staff. The footsteps pause just outside. One of them approaches the door. The door rattles; she hears it slide open a crack, then the rest of the way. She raises the staff in front of her face with a yell, screwing her eyes shut--

"Asha! Asha, it's alright."

One pair of footsteps climbs down into the cellar. Someone takes hold of the staff and lowers it, then gently takes it from her hands.

"It's us, little bird."

 _Little bird._ Only one person in the galaxy gets to call her that: Bà.Relief washes over her. All of a sudden she's a kid again, scared after falling out of a tree in the gardens. She surges forward and hugs him, tightly. And, to her surprise, he returns it.

"It's alright," he repeats. There's something ragged about his voice. Kind of a forced cheerfulness. "It's alright. I told you I'd come back, didn't I?" he pulls away. "Let's go home."

 

* * *

 

 

Baze and his family pick through the temple. The stormtroopers did a lot of damage in a short time. It's relatively quiet now. Outside, the residents of Jedha are waking up and starting their days as though nothing happened. The sun is coming up; it angles through a broken wall as Chirrut steps around a hole in the floor. He taps a piece of rubble with his staff.

"How bad is it?"

He doesn't answer.

"Baze. I know what the stormtroopers took. It can't be much worse than that."

Baze takes a deep breath. "Trehn said almost a third of the temple was destroyed." Chirrut's expression shuts down, as though this news physically hurts him, but Baze continues. "The gardens are mostly intact, and the chapel...but the training rooms and part of the archives are gone. And so is the apartment."

Chirrut stops. He finds the wall and slides down it to sit on the floor with his head in his hands. Asha hangs back, unsure of how to react.

"I'm sorry, Chirrut." Baze's voice is gentle. "There's nothing we could have done."

" _I am one with the Force, the Force is with me. I am one with the Force, the Force is with me. I am one with the Force, the Force is with me..._ " Chirrut starts to pray under his breath. Baze's expression is some mix of sympathy and exasperation, but he leaves him to it. He turns to his daughter instead.

"What about you, Asha? Are you alright?"

Asha hesitates. There's a million things she wants to say and even more questions, but when she opens her mouth, all that comes out is "Yeah."

Baze smiles and reaches out. "Here, let me carry this for you--" he lifts the bag off her shoulder. She forgot she still had it. It clinks and jingles faintly when he slings it over his own shoulder.

" _I am one with the Force, the Force is with me. I am one with the Force, the Force is with me..."_

"So." Baze sits himself down next to Chirrut. "What do we do now?"

Chirrut stops his chanting, but it's a long stretch of seconds before he answers. "I don't know." he sounds more defeated than Baze has ever heard.

"We can still make a life for ourselves here," Baze points out.

" _You_ can."

"So can you."

Chirrut shakes his head. He pulls the pendant out of his tunic and holds it up. "I was here for one reason. Which _they_ just stole."

"What?" Asha sits down on the other side of him.

"The kyber crystals." he spits out the words. "Stormtroopers took all of them."

Baze lifts the bag off his shoulder. It clinks. "All of them? Are you sure?" there's a smile in his voice.

"Yes, all of them. And I don't know why you're smiling; we  _failed_ in our duties. We were here to protect the crystals, and they--" Baze puts the bag in his husband's lap, rather unceremoniously. A few of the objects fall out. Chirrut frowns and picks one up. "Baze, what--?" he stops mid-sentence as he rolls it between his fingers, and it starts to glow dimly: it's a kyber crystal. His voice goes small with disbelief. "They killed anyone they found in the sanctuary...how did you get these?"

"From the archives. Before you and Asha met me outside." Baze picks up another one of the crystals. It doesn't glow in his hand, but it catches the dawn-light and glints blue. He contemplates it for a moment. "They're small, and some of them are probably broken, but I think they're worth staying for."

Chirrut rolls the crystal between his fingers like a rosary bead and doesn't answer. He startles when Asha lays a hand on his knee.

"Bà?"

He closes his hand around the crystal, shuts his eyes, and takes a deep breath. He seems a little more sure of himself when he opens his eyes again.

"I think you're right. But we'd better find Haykir, she'll want to know we're alive..."

So, as the city comes to life around them, the trio make their way through what's left of their home. They've lost a lot. But they're all in one piece, and things can be rebuilt. Maybe a clean slate isn't so bad.

 

•••°°°•••


	7. Chapter 7

It's inevitable, as a parent, that your child will someday want to leave the metaphorical nest. Chirrut knows this. So does Baze. But with these past six years being so focused on restoring what they lost in the raid, maybe they've forgotten a little. Not about Asha, of course. Just that she might not always be there.

They've all had to wear so many different hats since the raid. Chirrut's been taking shifts in the medical bay and helping make house calls in the city; everything from minor injuries to midwifery. Baze is helping in the archives and tending to remaining crystals, Asha tends to the gardens and continues her combat training, and everyone helps with rebuilding.

But none of it has made a difference. There just aren't enough people left. The temple is falling down as fast as they can rebuild, and there are fewer and fewer reasons to stay. Even for Baze and Chirrut.

 

* * *

 

 

Straight to the reservoir pool; 100 meters past there, take a left at the rhododendrons, walk until you reach the dove tree, turn right from there...

Asha knows these gardens by heart. If she's not thinking about it, she can navigate them by muscle memory alone. But that's for wandering; now, she walks with purpose. She knows exactly what she's looking for, and where to find it. Making one last turn, she comes to a stand of mulberry saplings, and stops in her tracks. She can hear the sounds of digging nearby, and a low voice humming tunelessly. She pushes her staff into the ground.

"Papa?"

The humming stops. "Right here, Asha. What do you need?"

Deep breath. "Can I talk to you?"

Baze picks up on her tone as only a parent can. His voice is terse when he responds, "We are not discussing it again."

"Why?"

"You know why."

And there it is. The elephant in the room that never used to be there. Papa and Bà won't say it directly, but that alone speaks volumes. They never used to treat it like a problem. It's just the way she is. But now that she's almost an adult, suddenly it's an issue. You'd think she was moving to Tatooine, the way they're reacting. Asha sits down in the grass and waits. It doesn't take long before she hears him sigh and put down his things.

"Asha..." he sounds almost defeated.

"Why is this such an issue?" she says slowly.

"It isn't an issue."

"Then why won't you talk about it?"

A pause. His footsteps move off to the side, and a handful of gardening tools jangle to the ground. Then he comes back and sits down. "You're eighteen, sweetheart."

She shrugs. "So was Bà when he started training. And you weren't much older than that."

"Your Bà didn't have much of a choice, you know that. Neither of us did."

"Exactly."

She can almost hear him collecting his thoughts. "You don't haveto leave. You can stay with us until things quiet down. It's safe here."

"Is it?" Asha gestures with her staff to the broken walls, the remains of the greenhouses, toward the center of the temple where the crystals used to be. "Is this what you call safe?"

"It's safer than many other parts of the galaxy, yes."

"Which is why I have to--"

"You don't  _have_ to do anything now. Least of all, decide your entire future."

The silence is prickly on both sides. One thought bubbles to the surface in Asha's mind. It's not a nice one. She goes to push it back down, but it goes straight to her mouth instead and she says it before she can stop herself.

"If I were more like you, you wouldn't be so worried."

"Yes, I would," Baze's tone is cold. "because you would still be my daughter." when she doesn't answer, he sighs wearily. "You're almost a young woman. I can't tell you what to do anymore. But I can ask you not to do this."

That does give Asha pause. But only for a moment. She traces the leather strip wrapped around her staff. "I'm still going."

Now he's mad. " _Asha!"_

Asha stands up. "You've always said I need to travel outside of Jedha." she calmly brushes some loose grass off her tunic.

"There are other ways to do so." Baze stands up. "Your father was overconfident and ambitious when he joined the Rebellion, and he almost paid for it with his life. You don't have to make his mistakes."

"And you don't have to worry about me so much."

"Asha, I guarantee you your Bà will not like this," Baze's voice turns dark.

"He already knows."

"And?"

"I'm still going." Asha turns to walk away. Baze takes a step or two in her wake.

"Has it occurred to you that you may not be able to?"

She stops in her tracks. "What do you mean?"

"Asha, you're  _blind."_

Asha turns around. "And?" she waits, arms folded. She can hear him falter, looking for the right words. "That's never stopped me before."

"That's because you've lived here all your life," says Baze, with rather strained patience.

"What's your point?"

"Maybe...maybe there are some things you shouldn't do."

So that's what they've been trying so hard not to say. Or maybe she just wanted an excuse to get angry, but either way, that did it. She turns and storms away.

"Asha, wait!"

Asha doesn't even change her stride. She lets the anger propel her back through the rhododendrons, past the reservoir pool and through the double doors, without a second thought. As if she needed another reason to go.

 

•••°°°•••

**Author's Note:**

> If you like the story, please leave a comment - I'd love to hear from you!


End file.
